If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
