Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
