Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
What a dumb baby whore.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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