White coat. Heels.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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