I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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