Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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