Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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