I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
