All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
