You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
