just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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