Your tits are I can't wait for
Just cropdusted the office
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
