I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
