Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
