there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
cat food counts as protein by the way
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
