yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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