what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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