Kiss
Puke
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Randomize
