I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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