Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
