Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
