Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
