new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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