R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Randomize
