By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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