Who did Billy Mays play for?
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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