I accidentally had phone sex last night
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
