i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
