I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
