eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
