The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
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