the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
