can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
