So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
