Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
