def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
And then my night got REAL pukey
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
