I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
