Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
