The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
