you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
