My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Randomize