I'm sorry my penis didn't work
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
