Where did you get a picture of my penis
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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