Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
i believe in u and ur pee
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
