He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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