how do flat chested girls get laid?
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Randomize
