sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
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