Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Randomize
