Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
its liver damage thursday
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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