they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
