I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
