My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
