Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
