If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
How does one acquire holy water?
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
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