He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
