So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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